It’s been a while since I wrote about professional networking, though it’s one of my favorite topics and something that I love to do. Here I’m going to talk about how keeping your options open will serve you well.

In many contexts, it’s important to have a plan. That applies to managing your professional networking as well. However, frequently we don’t end up following a plan exactly. That’s usually ok, and in fact, it might be important sometimes to veer from the plan. That’s where the open-mindedness comes in.

I have a solid reason for each networking opportunity I spend time on, because my time is precious. Even though I often venture outside the plan, sometimes I actually do make the kind of contacts that I planned for.

Networking principle: Make a plan, and then be strategic about changing it on the fly.

Here’s an example:

I attended the Agile Open Northwest conference recently. I went last year because I was worried about my job security. There was a lot of great technical content and I was able to meet several people who could help with a job search. This year, I’m actively searching for a job, and I was hoping to further strengthen my network and get some tips for job hunting. While I certainly did expand my network and strengthen several existing connections, I found many more people asking for job search advice than offering it. So I created opportunities to share my ideas, and ultimately decided that I should write this blog post as well.

Networking principle: You don’t know in advance whether you’ll be giving or receiving.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, but expect to give more than you receive.

Expand your expectations even further – it’s hard to know what kind of benefit you might be able to receive or offer. At Agile Open Northwest, I was planning to attend a technical session, but then I saw an opportunity to make a new friend, someone I really could identify with. I ditched the session and took some time to start a real friendship. That was certainly not in the plan.

Networking principle: Be open to getting and giving something different than you expected.

On the way to the conference a few days earlier, I went to a writer’s meetup. As the evening wound down, I asked someone I had been chatting with to show me his LinkedIn profile. I could hardly believe it. Just the previous day, I had been looking at his profile because he was highly experienced in a role I was considering pivoting to. I had never talked to him before, but there he sat. He’s a great new addition to my network.

Please indulge me in one more story. Not long ago, I offered to proofread a book that was almost ready to publish. I love doing this when it’s a book I want to read anyway, and it often helps to build a professional relationship with someone (careful criticism tends to be more valuable than praise). I spent time sending feedback on each chapter, and the author told me that this triggered a good deal of editing. A short time later, I was talking to a mutual friend, and he suggested that I ask that author for help with my job search, so I did. They spent a good deal of time giving me personalized suggestions for improving my resume, which I really appreciate. In this case, my plan was only to build external motivation to read a useful book and add a smart and well-connected person to my network. I was happy to benefit more from it more quickly than I had hoped.

So with a nod to Postel’s law about computer networking (“be conservative in what you do, be liberal in what you accept from others”), when networking with humans, make a solid plan and then be open to what comes out of it.

Further reading

Professional networking is a big subject. Here are a few other things that I and others have written about it.

• “Meaningful Connections”, StickyMinds.com, 2004. I think this one has aged well.
• “Developing Your Professional Network”, STQE magazine, 2001. A summary of one of my favorite papers on the subject, “Networking on the Network” by Phil Agre (it took some digging to find this updated link).
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This classic book has invited some amount of controversy that I’m happy to weigh in on given the opportunity. I got a tip that the 2022 update of the book is worth reading even if you’ve read an earlier version before, and I have a copy on order now.

Photo source: ProCopywriters, CC BY 2.0.